Getting Closer to the Finish Line

All smiles at pursuing my dreams :-)

I’m Baaaaaccckkkk!!!! There are no words to express how busy, stressful, and hectic the past few months have been, but I continue to enjoy every moment and chance I spend continuing to strive for my dreams. I’ve prayed for a long time just to have a chance at the opportunity to start the path towards medicine, and now that I’m here I’m going to embrace every second of it. In a little over five months, I will be Dr. Ward, and that alone is a reason to smile.

A pic that sums up the last several months of my life perfectly

I’m not going to lie and say it has been all rainbows and sunshine over the past few months, because at times it has been far from it. I recently completed the last of my general surgery audition/away rotations, and while it was an amazing experience traveling to different states and experiencing different residency programs, I am so happy to be finished. Having to be on 24/7 while people constantly judge your skills, knowledge, and actions is beyond stressful. Plus, being around other exceptional students who are always on top of their game is enough to foster feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. If I learned only one thing the past few months, it is that I don’t know much of anything. Nevertheless, I have utilized these experiences as learning opportunities, and I feel I have grown tremendously in both my skill set and knowledge base. Plus, I am not afraid to put in the work and do whatever I need to do to make sure I learn everything I need to care for my patients.

Missing my little love

Another thing that no one tells you about fourth year is that it can get pretty lonely. I have spent the past few months in some places where I knew absolutely no one. Not really a problem since 90% of my time was spent in the hospital, but I definitely enjoyed the times when I was able to run into classmates and hang out for a little bit. Plus, I had to be away from my daughter only seeing her in person maybe three times since July, and this was soooo weird for me! I went from seeing her every day and only being apart for maybe a month each year during the summer when she went to spend time with my parents, to only being able to interact with her through video chat. I think it was more of an adjustment for me than her, since she is used to me being busy anyway, but it was definitely bittersweet to see how happy she was that I wasn’t around. Bitter because she really didn’t miss me that much, but sweet because she was constantly surrounded by people who spoiled and made her feel loved. It’s a blessing to have a child who is not only supportive of my dreams, but who doesn’t get upset in my absence and continues to be happy and do well. I literally have no reason to complain, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t experience mommy guilt from time to time. I will say that the major highlight of the past few months was taking a weekend off to fly and surprise my daughter for her birthday last month. It was such a feel good moment, and I was happy to have my sister there to capture it on video which you can see below:

Now that I am finished with audition rotations, the only things left to do are have a successful interview season, match into a great residency program (prayers requested!), finish out rotations, and graduate! The coming months will be both exciting and somewhat scary, but I look forward to the ride :-)

Since I didn’t have time to detail my experiences in Delaware, my next post will be a recap of my month there since I was blessed with some pretty phenomenal experiences that deserve a separate post. I have a bit more free time now, so I will make sure to type it up in the coming days. Until then, I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful week!